Seeing Things Differently

Our small group has just started reading a new book called Cold Tangerines. It’s about celebrating the extraordinary in everyday life and has us all hooked.

The first chapter, On Waiting, tells how the author was always waiting to become the person she knew she was supposed to be instead of enjoying life as the person she already is. And it totally hit home. I’ve always had the notion that being single was a temporary thing, a holding tank until my “real life” happened. And by real life I mean married with kids. And my job was just to pay the bills until I figured out what I wanted to do with my life.

But that’s a stupid way of thinking. This is an amazing time in my life. I get to see 9 of my closest friends, go drinking with Serial and take pole dancing classes all in one week. On the weekends, I can sleep in, go shopping, chill out alone and then meet up with friends. When else will I be able to do this? My “real life” might be too hectic for all of these things.

Ever since I read that chapter, I’ve found myself stopping to just enjoy the moment. BFF and I went driving around Jasper on Monday, going through neighborhoods and finding our way off dirt roads only to realize that we were less than a mile from home. When we realized where we were, she turned to me and said, “Well, we just spent an hour and a half driving around only to go nowhere.” But I saw it differently. I didn’t think of it as wasted time; I thought of it as memories. 10 years from now we’ll be able to look back and remember the day we got lost in Jasper and explored unfinished homes and got freaked out by a rooster because it make us think of Deliverance.

I’m done waiting. Someday, I’ll have my “real life” – my wedding, my husband, my kids. But right now, I’m focusing on today. And how good this Diet Coke tastes. And how rewarding it is to donate my blood to someone who needs it. Hopefully they will be able to enjoy today as well.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a present.

The Douchebag Chronicles

Last Wednesday was one of the most entertaining happy hours I can remember. It started out innocently enough; Serial and I both had crappy days at work so we were itching for some alcohol. We got our respective drinks and before I knew it, Serial had downed her entire drink. (For the record, that never happens. I’m normally a drink ahead of her). A little later RioD and Roomie joined us and we got up to mingle and play trivia. We were 7th in line to play trivia but these 2 guys needed someone to play them so Serial and I volunteered. They were so drunk that they kept hitting the buzzer before the guy finished asking the question so we ended up destroying them.

After that was over, I went to close out my tab because it was going to be past midnight before they got to our team in trivia. One of the guys came over to talk to me and kept trying to buy me a drink. I told him he didn’t even know my name and he said it didn’t matter! I ended up finding out that he does Crisis Management aka, damage control, for a living. Sounds like a winner. The other guy ended up chatting with Serial and then sort of followed us out into the parking lot.

Yay for douchebaggery. Hopefully, they won’t be there tomorrow night. It should be a lot of fun. Especially since I’m giving blood in the morning. I’ll only need one drink.

3-Day Weekend Bonanza

I am spent. Who knew that a relaxing weekend could wear a person out so much? Let’s recap, shall we?

Since I had such a long week, I decided to chill out Friday night. Roomie even tried to get me to go to Cheers, which I’m normally game for, but I wasn’t having it. I simply wanted to chill out on the couch. And I did.

On Saturday, Roomie and I drove around town looking for townhouses or condos to rent. We were unsuccessful. That night, we joined Marge and her friends at Stone Mountain for the laser show. I haven’t been to the show since I was a kid so it was like a whole new experience for me. Marge packed us sandwiches and fruit and CHEESE (yum!) and we had a nice little picnic. On the way there, Roomie and I hit up a liquor store hoping to find something to smuggle into the park since no alcohol is allowed. The manager recommended getting grape flavored vodka and Sprite Zero. He said it tasted like grape soda. So we got that and it is now my favorite drink.

After the show, we hiked a mile back to the car and took bets on how long it would take us to get out of the park. One person said 12 minutes, another 20 and another said 30. Luckily, we saw some cars leaving a back exit and followed them and got out of the park in 3 minutes.

The next morning, I swapped cars with my mom and headed north of town to Jasper where BFF and crew were having their Memorial Day cookout.

One of the things I love about going to Jasper is that there’s always an abundance of food and beer. And the guys make sure you always have a drink in hand.

Yesterday, BFF and I drove around town getting lost and going inside new houses (and getting freaked out by the roosters when exploring the unfinished basements).

After a while, I headed home, got Dixie and crashed on my bed the rest of the day.

And now, we start again!

We love Wednesday night happy hour at Cheers because…

(see reason number 13)

1. The random Wednesday when Blondie likes all the guys in suits is totally worth the “huh?”
2. After enough drinks, any guy with a beard looks like Darrin.
3. Awkward run-ins with exes and guys we never called back make us stronger.
4. Using Blondie’s video camera to make commercials seemed like a good idea at the time. “HE DIDN’T GO TO JARED!”
5. Nothing beats the bartender giving free drinks and money for the jukebox to make us stay and destroy the bar with Rick Astley.
6. Random makeouts happen.
7. Blondie hasn’t gotten us banned from this bar. That’s saying something.
8. Non-dates that really were dates with boys who know you have a crush on someone else are special too, gosh darnit!
9. Blondie being constantly told she looks a lot younger than Serial is priceless.
10. Instead of us having to steal the barware, it’s given to us. Clean.
11. During trivia, two wrong Serial answers can ruin Blondie’s commanding lead.
12. When Blondie says, ‘He’s the balding guy in the blue shirt at the bar’ it makes sense rather than describe almost every patron, like at Johnny’s Hideaway.
13. If you complain about not getting a lime slice, you’ll end up with a fruit salad in your drink.

My Strip Club Story, Part Two

You may remember me telling you about my strip club story a while back. Well, now I have another story.

After class last week, our group decided to check out Tiffany’s to get some insights and tips. When we got there, we paid our $10 and got a table up front. The first thing we noticed was that their poles weren’t meant for dancing. They couldn’t have been taller than 6 feet. Major downer. Girls were spread out around the room giving lap dances and sitting with guys (I’m not sure if that is a pay service or just complimentary-the sitting part) and there was one girl on stage. A few minutes after getting our drinks, two strippers came over to our table and sat down. They starting chatting and asking us why we were here (we told them we were dancers and were looking for a place to dance), etc. They told us what they liked about the place and how much they make for certain things ($10 for a lap dance; VIP room is $130 for 15 minutes, they keep $100; if someone tips over $10 it’s standard to take your clothes off). The girls were really cool and down to earth but it was surreal because after they left the table, they went and got naked. Normally when I’m chatting with someone, I don’t see them naked a few minutes later (unless, it’s a really crazy party).

Overall, it was a really fun night.

I have two questions though.

Why do so many strippers wear shoes that don’t fit them??

Do guys ever get mad when the girl shoves her crotch in their face?

The Return of Wednesdays

Last night marked the first time in a month that Serial and I hit up Cheers for happy hour. And oh did we have fun! After consuming some drinks we decided to mingle with some of the kickball people who had come after their game. I ended up playing (and winning!) trivia with Serial’s friend and got $10 towards my bar tab. Sweet!

Other interesting things:
I chatted up a cute guy who was getting a drink at the bar. Normally, I just ignore the guys sitting at the bar. I like to say I’m playing hard to get.

Some random guy started talking to me and I ended up telling him my stripping plans (I have no idea why!) and he told me I should get my MBA instead. Huh.

The rest is a little fuzzy.

Happy now?

There. I posted.

Today is kind of a sucky day. One of my favorites left the company and everyone is pretty down. He was the one who always said how nice my ass looked in my Sevens. And we would drop stuff on purpose just so the other one could bend over and pick it up. Totally harmless flirting. And now he’s gone.

And then I had a cavity filled and got berated by my dentist. All in all, bummer of a Wednesday. BUT….

Serial and I are drinking tonight.

Oh yes.

 

What’s New Pussycat?

I apologize for the lack of posts lately. I’ve been kind of boring.

Boot camp is kicking my ass. But it’s good because I think I’m starting to see results.

Level 3 pole dancing looks to be hard. Our flexibility is coming into play. This week we will learn how to flip upside down! So exciting! Our group has totally bonded and we are hitting up a strip club after class to watch the pros. I’ll be sure to post the details.

Serial and I are going to happy hour tonight! Yay! I think it’s been over a month since it was just the two of us drinking! So excited! I’m sure we’ll have some hilarious stories to tell.

A New Name

This comment appeared on my Facebook wall yesterday from Ham (or the blog character formerly known as Ham):

“Friend, can I request a new name on your blog? I mean, I know my name lends well to lunch meat, but everyone else has less Publix-y names. “

So without further ado, here is Ham’s new blog name….

Fundraiser!!!

So original.

A pondering…

If you suddenly became blind and met a really great person and really connected with them, would you feel the need to know that they are attractive?

Discuss.