Ever notice how…

in movies when someone is transported into another person’s body, whisked 20 years to the future or dealing with amnesia, they all have demanding jobs?

I watched this cheesy Lifetime movie last night about a girl who makes a wish (of course) that she marries her high school crush, the captain of the football team (of course). They are magically teleported 17 years into the future where they have to learn how to deal as 34 year olds with the brains of 17 year olds. She’s a lawyer who is running for Lieutenant Governor and he is an investment banker.

Come on! Why can’t they ever have jobs that don’t require them to defend clients or trade stocks on the asian market? And it’s not like they are just an associate at a law firm. They have to be Senior Partner (or up for it, at least) or own the company.

AND, they were almost always a mean person before the young self/other person/amnesiac version of themselves came into play.

I want to see a movie about an 18 old girl who has all these goals for life (married by 25, husband who supports her so she can work on a teacher’s salary) being magically whisked into the year 2008 where she works as a glorified admin and is single and broke. She is prettier than she was at 18 but weighs more.

If anyone is interested in adapting this story into a film, please contact me. I have exclusive rights to it.

Please dress appropriately when going to your own surprise party.

After spending most of Saturday in suburbia, I decided to make a weekend out of it and drove to Jasper for a surprise party for BFF’s boyfriend. He was told that they were having a cookout at his brother’s house and needed to go to the barn (where we were all hiding) to get wood for his new smoker. No one could anticipate the surprise we got when he walked in wearing an old Polka Joe tee shirt, shorts with paint on them, black dress socks and tennis shoes with the laces undone. In all the planning, no one thought that he might actually show up wearing what he would normally wear to a cookout at his brother’s! But he was a good sport about it and everyone ended up having a great time.

And so ended my weekend in the country. If you’d like to read about the rest of the weekend, email me for the password for the post below.  

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What did you spend your Stimulus check on?

I could have sprung for the newest model but then I would have to get a new arm band.

My X-Pole. It arrived today. I’m so happy!

Sexy outfits for class.

 

What else? Alcohol, dresses, shoes, other clothing, etc.

Why one should never go to Walgreens after drinking

(not shown: nail polish)

A few weeks back I was spending a lovely Friday night at home with a bottle of wine when I realized that I hadn’t eaten anything and the grocery store was closed. Sure, I could have gone to the ghetto Kroger and gotten some food, but then I would have to deal with the crazies that go there.

Instead, I drove to Walgreens. With a lovely buzz on, I wandered the aisles picking up little things here and there.

This is what was purchased:

Cherry Coke Zero
Shape Magazine
Generic Pizza Rolls (definitely not as good at the Totinos)
Ferrero Rocher Rondnoir (my new obsession)
Nail polish
Temporary hair color spray in pink (I almost got the permanent kind but they mentioned something about peroxide and since my hair is professionally done, I don’t think that would be very smart)

A series of random blonde moments…..

In an effort to make my apartment presentable for the boy, I spent the majority of the evening tidying up (even though he’s already seen the place) and gave my bathroom a good cleaning. I was vigorously scrubbing my toilet when a big candle holder fell over causing it’s candle to hit a picture frame and launched the frame straight into the toilet! Upon hitting the water, the back of the frame came undone and all of the parts separated.

Thank goodness the toilet was full of cleaner because otherwise I would have promptly chucked the frame and picture. Now I’m airing out the frame and picture, but hey, at least they are clean now!

Later in the evening, I was doing laundry and put a basket of clean clothes on the dining room table and knocked over the big heavy vase that sits in the middle. It didn’t break but did spill a ton of glass marbles on the floor.

Then I was downloading music this morning and realized that I left a CD in my old work computer that was replaced last week. The following conversation took place between the IT guy (aka, the Rumor Starter! See two posts below) and myself.

Me: Um, I left a CD in my old computer. Think you can get it back for me?
IT guy: Sure, no problem.
Me: Cool. It’s a Hannah Montana CD, so it’s important that I get it back.

Yes. I did leave a Hannah Montana CD in my computer. I am full of win! Go me!

Help!

What does one cook for a guy they like?

Do I serve one of my tried and true recipes or venture into the culinary unknown?

This is the current dilemma I’m facing. Any suggestions?

I know my way around the kitchen so I can handle harder recipes.

 

Thoughts?

 

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Dixieland Delight, or How I Spent my Weekend.

Believe it or not, I spent the weekend relatively sober. Serial thinks I should get an award from AA or something.

Friday night, I met up with Fundraiser and Roomie and a few other people at Mellow Mushroom. We were having a grand ol’ time until some crazy lady started screaming at the cooks about how she paid for her pizza and they weren’t giving it to her. They kept yelling for her to get out. It seemed like she had some serious mental problem. When I was walking back to my car, she was sitting outside the bank where I had parked. The following conversation took place:

Crazy Lady: Excuse me.
Me: Yes?
CL: Can I ask you a question?
Me: OK.
silence.
Me: Yes?
CL: Come over here.
Me: Ummmmmmm, no. I really have to be going.
CL: Well, see I need to get back to the homeless shelter and I need money for the train.
Me: I’m sorry, I don’t have any cash. 

Why did she venture so far away from the homeless shelter? I don’t think there are any shelters in Brookhaven. But I could be wrong.

On Saturday, I went to Birmingham with Calvary and her brother for City Stages. It was a really fun festival and I can’t believe I never went when I lived there. I also saw my ex which was slightly awkward, but cool at the same time. I hadn’t seen him in 3 years. Afterwards, we were texting and playing the “What did you think about me?” game. He said I looked hot and I told him he looked really good and confident. We ended up driving back that night because we didn’t want to spend money on a hotel room and Calvary had to go into work the next day.  

On Sunday, I went over to my parents house for lunch for Father’s Day. I really should start drinking before I go over there. Maybe then I won’t end up fighting tears while driving home and wondering why there are so many pictures of my brother and his wife in the house and only 3 of me. None of which have been taken in the past 3 years. Gee, thanks Mom. Twist that knife a little more.

In other news, I have my first date of ‘08 on Friday. It’s hard to believe that I haven’t been on a date all year (I have, however, rejected several guys and went on one non-date). I’m not mentioning anything else about it other than that it is with the guy I met at Wild Bills and I’m really looking forward to it. After all, this isn’t a dating diary.

I’m trying to keep a level head about it. As DubDub so nicely put it, I tend to “fall for guys really fast and we don’t want another situation like with the bartender”. Agreed. But I reminded her that I had no control over that situation.

 She also said that if I go country, she’ll kill me. 

My Personal Entourage

As much as I dislike using the word ‘entourage’ (thanks HBO), I can’t think of a better word. All of my friends do something different and if I were to obtain a large sum of money, I’d hire them to work for me. Naturally, they’d accept because who wouldn’t want to work for me? (don’t answer that). Here’s how my payroll would look.

(I’ve got to come up with better blog names for my friends).

Psychiatrist: Margo
Lawyer: Law
Physical Therapist: PT
Marketing: Serial
Advertising: Marge
Nutritionist: MF
Fundraiser: Fundraiser
Nurses: BFF and A
Media Buyer (to control what shows are put on the air, duh): Calvary
Accountant: Thompson
Spiritual Guide: B

If you’re not listed there, then you might want to consider a career change before I come into my money. I still need a mechanic, veterinarian and pilot.