I BELIEVE!

(doo-do-doo-do-doo-doo)

Last night was very eventful. In addition to being filmed while pole dancing, I also watched the 12:01 showing of the X-Files movie.

At Mentally::Rehearsed’s, we loaded up on coffee and stuffed our purses full of drinks and snacks before heading to the theater. Both of us were about to pass out before the movie even began but once it started we were immediately engrossed in the storyline.

When I was in high school I LOVED the show. It was the main reason I wanted a degree in Criminology-so I could join the FBI and be just like Mulder and Scully! The movie brought back all kinds of memories and reminded me why I loved the show in the first place.

It was definitely a fun experience and the movie was excellent! But after 3 hours of sleep, I’m quite delirious and can’t wait to crawl back into bed.

Next time I see a midnight showing, I’m taking the day off.

Lights, Camera, Spin

Things you normally find at pole dancing class.

1. Girls in sexy outfits.
2. Booty shaking.
3. Difficult tricks and combos.

Things you normally do NOT find at pole dancing class.

1. Men
2. Camera crews
3. Reporters

I went to class last night not looking or feeling my sexiest because I feel like I’ve gained 10 pounds in the past two months. Had I been informed that a major news organization was going to film our class, I may have gotten a little more dressed up!

That’s right.

CNN filmed us last night while we danced; they are running a story on how pole studios have gotten so popular but still have a negative image.

In the midst of our pole circuits*, a cameraman ran around the room filming us from all different angles. He seemed to enjoy standing by the pole I was using and almost got hit once or twice by my leg.

The story is scheduled to air sometime in August; naturally, I’ll give you the airdate when I get it.

I’m just glad my family thinks CNN is the antichrist. I don’t have to worry about them accidentally watching it.

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*Pole circuit: Girls line up 3 to a pole and are given a move to do. Girls from each group repeat the move at their respective poles. This continues until all the girls in the groups have gone and then another move is shown.

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The Most Amazing Innovation EVER!

Introducing Slydial!

Great for canceling on friends and loved ones without them guilting you over the phone!

Perfect for letting that guy know you’re just not interested without listening to what he has to say.

Ideal for businesspeople who are pressed for time.

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Seriously. I think I’m in love this product. All you do is dial the number listed and then enter the number you want to call. It will automatically connect with their voicemail.

Serial used it on my phone and it showed I had a missed call from her and a voicemail. I was concerned that it would only show a voicemail thus making people think something is awry, but the missed call adds the legitimacy factor. “Oh, I must have it on silent”.

Expect me to use this product on you in the near future.  

Did I mention it’s free?

My Razor has a Scented Handle

 

And I don’t know why……

 

But seriously, why does my razor need to have a scented handle?

Is it a suicide deterrent?

“Goodbye cruel wor…..is that lavender I smell? That’s kinda nice.”

It makes no sense!

20 Random Things you Didn’t Know About Me

I’m avoiding doing any real work. Not really, but I’m having issues coming up with “Ways to Go Green when Traveling” for our company blog. So I figured I’d make a list of random stuff about me.

1. I’m a lefty. Except I throw a frisbee right-handed. Weird.
2. I am a natural blond. But now it’s more of a dishwater blond. Hence, my quarterly trips to see Lee at Toni & Guy.
3. My eye color is green with flecks of gold. Not hazel. Green with flecks of gold.
4. Mayonnaise is the only condiment I really like.
5. I have never been inside a Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods. I think my roommate might die if she found out.
6. I went vegetarian for a year in high school. The first meat I ate when I decided to stop being one was a cheeseburger from McDonald’s.
7. I can remember really obscure information. Sometimes it’s a bad thing. Like when I bring up something random about the guy I like.
8. I always have to know the correct spelling of a person’s name. It annoys me if I misspell it.
9. Speaking of spelling, I’m anal about spelling errors. I’ll get furious with myself if I miss a spelling mistake.
10. I write reminders on my hands. I alway have and my dad would get so angry with me for doing it.
11. I hate seeing chewed gum. It turns my stomach. If someone stuck a piece of chewed gum in my face I wouldn’t hesitate to punch and kick them. I’d also scream bloody murder.
12. I rarely cry. Except at really happy moments. For example: the reunion scene in The Incredible Journey and the reunion scene in An American Tail. Basically, I cry when animals are reunited with their family.
13. I love the Simpsons. I often quote the show. Most of the time, I get blank stares from the other people around me.
14. I like snakes. Pythons.
15. I play escape the room games almost daily. They are quite addictive. But most are in japanese. Don’t know what an escape the room game is? Check out www.escapegames24.com.
16. Speaking of games. I have nerdy tendencies. I play video games. And watch X-Play.
17. My degree is in Criminology and my minor is in English. Both useless.
18. I had a ferret in college. His name was Dudley.
19. I still have my favorite stuffed animal from childhood. His name is Ruger.
20. I have an incredibly dirty mind. Seriously. Just ask SerialDater.

Pass the AquaNet

(open up and say ahh)

Poison has come to Atlanta almost every year for the past decade but I’ve never gone to their show. It’s odd because when I was a kid I was absolutely obsessed with them!

I would sit in front of the TV (literally, because I had to flip the channel if my mom walked in) and waited for their videos to play on MTV. I would buy Hit Parade and other rock magazines and cut out pictures of them and hide them in my room because I wasn’t allowed to have that stuff. I never knew why until I was older and realized how dirty the songs were.

I knew all the words to their songs along with various trivia about each band member. And since I was adopted, I dreamt that Bret was my father and Rikki was my lover. Sometimes, I would switch the two up and Bret would be my lover.

And finally, 20 years after my initial crush began, I get to see them play live. Hell yeah.

Again??

Seriously. W T F? I feel like I just had a cold 2 months ago. In fact, I’m pretty sure I blogged while on cold medicine. And now I’m sick again.

The good news is that I didn’t start feeling bad until Saturday so it didn’t interfere with my date on Friday. But now I feel like crap and I didn’t sleep well last night because the medicine I took totally made my mind go crazy. Does that happen to anyone else? I was fine when my eyes were open but as soon as I closed them, I started tripping balls. Therefore, I was afraid to sleep and kept having panic attacks because I thought I was going crazy and/or dying.  

And now I feel like I’ve been run over by a stampede of elephants. Excellent.

Genius!

(that is one big rod)

Why aren’t the people who write these one liners for the penis enlargement ads in my spam folder working on Madison Avenue??

This stuff is pure gold!

Choose this simple way to evoke your masculinity!

She will like it when you spear her with your new immeasurable rod!

With such big bolt even Statue of Liberty will be satisfied!

Similiar to Pinocchio, the more girls lie in my bed, the longer my rod grows.

She’ll need a painkiller after you ram her with your massive 10 inch tool.

Achieve unprecedented penetration with your new huge wang.

Anyone else slightly turned on now?

When do I start??

Good Day,

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-Age: 20+
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FULL NAME:
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What does 1kb of text look like??