The Cycle Begins Anew

Is it too early to say that I don’t like my job? Because I really don’t think I do. When I interviewed, we discussed things like helping the marketing girl most of the time and doing other various projects. Have I done that? No. Instead they wanted me to do this crappy onboarding stuff that hardly takes up any of my time. The rest of the time I sit at my desk doing menial tasks or surfing the internet trying to fight off my boredom. Sound familiar?

Yep. It’s the same thing I did at my old company. I was promised promotions into the marketing department and more work, but ended up doing nothing all day but kill brain cells.

Half the people here don’t give me enough credit for my intelligence and think I’m some dumb admin. Others realize how smart I am and ask me why I’m in this role. It’s incredibly frustrating.

And now I get to sit in an empty office because everyone else left early for Halloween and I’m stuck here till 5.

Oh won’t someone please make it stop.

Plan B?

I’m not talking about the birth control med. My detective costume arrived today and I think I look like a fat cow in it.

That’s just my opinon. Roomie asked me if it would make her look like a fat cow and I told her no (because Roomie is 5′2 and tiny!), so now she might wear it tomorrow if one of my three other options works out.

Yay self esteem!

Match Awards Honorable Mentions

I had so much fun with my Match Awards that I had to go find more great guys online. Here are some honorable mentions.

Name: MakersMarkus

About Me: I’m a musician and I drink and smoke cigarettes and I like books and I fly a lot and I’m looking for someone to do something with in Atlanta cause I just moved here and don’t know anyone.

That’s his entire profile…

Next up:

Name: TAREQUE3000

Headline: IF YOUR NOT WITH THE GAMES HOLLA AT ME

About Me: IM HERE HOPING TO MEET THE PERFECT GIRL AND I HOPE THAT SHE WILL BE LOOKING FOR THE SAME THING …I USE TO LIVE IN WARNER ROBINS GEORGIA FOR LIKE 5 YEARS …I JUST MOVED TO ATLANTA GA 2 MONTHS AGO AND I THINK IT’S TIME FOR ME TO SETTLE DOWN ..SO IF YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE READY FOR THAT THEN IM YOUR MAN BUT IF YOU ARE STILL WITH THOSE LIL GIRL GAMES THEN I THINK YOU NEED TO CHECK OUT ONE OF THE OTHER PROFILES…I DON’T MIND SPENDING TIME WITH MY GIRL ,I LIKE TO GO OUT ,AND I ENJOY MY WOMEN IF UYOU CATCH MY DRIFT…

my education: I FINISH HIGH SCHOOL

favorite hot spots: ANYWERE U LIKE

last read: I DON’T NO

Moving on. This next guy keeps popping up in my updates, and there’s probably nothing wrong with him except that his user name is Selective_Guy and his About me is pretty much a PSA directed towards women on Match.com.

Can you believe one of my best friends met his wife on match? Well, I guess it can’t hurt to check it out…ha;) Here’s what I’ve learned so far about match which I think you might find interesting from a guy’s perspective regardless if we decide to date or just hang out as friends:

1)Profile information is not always true, but anything you say can and will be used against you;) I can meet a girl while I’m out, but may not know that she has a pet snake, two kids, and lives with her parents. Advantage: match

2)Profile pictures are not always recent. If you don’t look like your picture, update it. Otherwise, its false advertising. Appearance is not everything, but its the first thing a guy sees and a factor in deciding if I want to meet you. If your pics are 4 years old and you’ve gained 20lbs, its time for a new photo. Also, you should be confident enough to include at least one full body shot.

3)I’ve had some girls complain about not being able to meet a nice guy on match. If this is you, take a hard look at your profile. If you have slutty pics and “erotica” listed as a turn-on, don’t be surprised. Blood in the water attracts sharks:) After all, you can’t blame a dog for barking. ha!

So here’s where I’m at with this whole situation…I’m always seeking to meet new people who impact my life in healthy and positive ways. If it develops into something romantic, that’s great. If not, I’ll happily introduce you to all my single friends…provided that you’re not a shallow, bloodsucking, money grubbing, gold digger:) ha!

My friends tell me that I’m naturally charismatic, outgoing, and the life of the party, but I can tell you that I’m naturally introverted and still a nerdy chubby kid on the inside. I was a largely unpopular dork in high school and didn’t come out of my shell until after joining a fraternity in college. I prefer non-fiction over fiction and cooking at home over expensive dinners out. I enjoy having nice things, but I’m not materialistic…instead I look for good value and try to avoid depreciating assets. If it matters to you what kind of car I drive, then we’re not a good match. I constantly work to improve certain qualities in myself that are vital to healthy relationships with others and expect the same in return: generosity, patience, respect, loyalty, trust, honesty, forgiveness, empathy, positive attitude, tactful, responsible, dependable, affectionate…and perhaps most important in our generation is perseverance. If I’m out of line, you should be comfortable calling my attention to it.

I’m not perfect and do not expect perfection, but believe people should be aware of their weaknesses and show efforts at constructive change. We should be “real” people, genuine and authentic…finding that a growing healthy relationship helps each person become more sure of him/herself.

Wow. Is it necessary to divulge that much information in your profile? I don’t think so.

There you have it. Three more Match.com gems. I did find some really cute guys while I was searching; now I need to go back and find their profiles again!

There are no words to describe how terribly wrong this headline is.

I can’t stop laughing!!

Anita Hardwon’s Detective Agency

I was a little bored today so I designed the name badge I’m going to wear with my detective costume. Now all I need to do is create the dossiers on the men I’m looking for–Mr. Right, Mr. Right Now, Mr. Meantime, Mr. Big. What others?

I got notification that my costume will arrive tomorrow, a day ahead of schedule. I also got notification that my other costumes will be arriving on Friday, so if the detective one doesn’t work out, I’ll have backup options. And Serial can now take her pick of the costumes.

Can’t wait! I’m sure there will be some fun pictures!

Ticket to Hell? Check.

Occasionally, I have my überbitch moments and this is definitely gonna be one of them. The more I think about the incident two weeks ago, the more pissed off I get. I never said anything or did anything that would make the aquatic vertebrate think it was a date, other than letting him buying the meal. But I specifically said, “Let’s go someplace cheap because I have limited funds.” He offered to pay for everything because he said he wanted to eat someplace nice. And hell, if you’re gonna offer to pay for everything, I’m not gonna hold back. Maybe, in retrospect, he thought that entitled him to some smooching. Guys take note: Nothing entitles you to smooching. That has to be earned. And don’t attempt anything when we are slurring our words.

I’ve ignored his calls and voicemails because I’m extremely creeped out. And feel like he crossed the line.

Maybe it’s just me thinking everyone has as much common sense as me, but if a person was ignoring you, wouldn’t you think you’ve done something wrong? And in this particular case, wouldn’t you think maybe you crossed some line and should possibly apologize for your actions?

I got accused of being extremely rude.

“What’s going on with you?  I haven’t heard back from you since last week, and left you two messages.  Are you ever going to call me back? 

I took you out for a thoughful evening and spent a lot of money in an attempt to have a fun time while you were hurting for cash.  If you plan on ignoring me, then I think you are extremely rude.    Good luck with that.”

Good luck with that?

Thanks, I have been working on my rudeness.

A thoughtful evening? 

I called him to ask him to look at my computer. Which he never did. He mentioned grabbing a drink afterwards, but suddenly that morphed into dinner.

For some reason, I feel like he’s gonna continue to bug me. Which is fine. I have amazing abilities to ignore people for extended periods of time.

Whatever.

I’ve learned something from this. I can’t have guy friends. Unless they are exes.

Costume Dilemma

Last Thursday, I bought 3 costumes because I couldn’t decide what I wanted to be this year for Halloween (and I have a costume obsession, as you all know).

According to the website, they haven’t shipped yet and now I have nothing to wear for Halloween. I’m not too pissed off about spending the money because each costume was $20 and they are all Leg Avenue, but my other costumes are a bit too risque (or I don’t fit into them) for the bar scene and the stores don’t have anything worthwhile (except for a Spongebabe costume. It was pretty cute). I was texting with BFF and she told me to wear a sign that said, “Miss Left” and wear glasses and say I’m looking for Mr. Right. Cute.

I decided to expand on her idea like I always do, and found this costume:

I went ahead and got it and it is guaranteed to arrive on Friday (but was the same price as the other three costumes combined). I’m either going to carry around a dossier and ask people I’ve they have any information on Mr. Right, OR wear a sign around my neck that says “No Shit”. Then I’d be No Shit Sherlock.

So which should I be?

Just a Dream

It was the sequel. Or that’s what it felt like. At some point, I recommended something to someone in the previous scene and here I was in part two or whatever it was.

I was in a field. There was house under construction and a man who looked like Jesus. Wait, it was Jesus. He began walking towards me and the sun cast a shadow on his face and I could only see his silhouette. I had a feeling he was going to impart some divine wisdom on me and maybe tell me what I’m supposed to be doing with my life.

He opened his mouth to speak.

“Woof”

I’m sorry, Jesus, I didn’t catch that.

“Woof”

The field disappeared and I found myself lying in bed. I turned to see Dixie hopping around the bedroom. I looked over at my clock. 1:56.

Frustrated that my dog interrupted my divine dream (which felt a bit like Jesus Christ Superstar), I turned over and tried to imagine the field once again.

The hopping continued.

I finally gave in, put on some pants and flip flops (even though it was 30 degrees outside), and took the hopping one on a walk.

As I stood in the parking lot of the complex, I tried to make sense of my dream. Why was I in a field with Jesus? What was he going to say to me? Why have I been having such weird dreams lately?

And why can’t I remember any more of the dream? The chick who wrote Twilight had the idea come to her in a dream.

I’ve got Jesus in a field.

Maybe I’m on to something.

Just Another Night at Cheers

The fabulous tower of glasses. Notice the Jager thong.

Now the Jager thong is on Favorite Bartender. And he’s pouring liquor on it.

It’s like a codpiece. “It provides the freedom, and protection, I so sorely need.”

Today I…

• Worried about whether or not my costumes will arrive on time. Still worrying.
• Dealt with this hideous candidate tracking program called Adapt. It logged me out every 5 minutes regardless of what I was doing.
• Updated my blog list—————–>
  These are all fabulous and all in my reader. Know of any other fabulous ones? Send them my way.
• Looked at apartments in Nashville. Why? I’ve added it to my list of places I’m considering moving to in a year. It’s actually the most viable option I have right now. And makes me excited.
• Tried to find ways to transfer voicemail from my phone to my computer. Right now my best bet is to call Serial’s work phone because her VMs go straight to email. I have a voicemail from the aquatic vertebrate that I want to share with everyone. And I’ll probably get a first class ticket to hell as a result. Btw, I just got an email from him on Facebook that I am refusing to read. Why? Because I hate when people don’t get a clue. And I’m still super-weirded out by the whole incident. Like, sick to my stomach, that-was-so-inappropriate-please-never-contact-me-again, weirded out.
• Bought a really cute dress for Saturday’s outing. It was $25. And soo cute.
• Got busted by a coworker on the whole pole dancing thing. Apparently, another male coworker overheard me and Name Twin (another coworker who shares my name, not to be confused with Roomie–she spells her name differently) talking about my classes and told this particular coworker. Now he spins every time he walks by my desk.