Infamous Atlantans

Atlanta is known for several things: Coca-Cola, Chick-fil-A, multiple roads with the same names, the ‘96 Olympics. But in recent years, scandals and crimes making national headlines are almost as well known as Coke and fried chicken. How many of these infamous Atlantans do you remember?

Jennifer Wilbanks, aka, The Runaway Bride. Remember her? She disappeared to avoid her upcoming wedding and surfaced in New Mexico a few days later claiming to have been kidnapped and sexually assaulted. She also cost the city of Duluth $40,000.

Andrew Speaker. The personal injury lawyer who flew from Atlanta to Paris while infected with Tuberculosis.

Michael Vick. The Atlanta Falcons sucked for a long time, then Michael Vick came along and, well, they still sucked, but he was actually good. And then was involved in illegal dog fighting and we all know what happened after that.

These whores. Atlanta’s newest claim to fame. I think I’ve already said enough about them.

Brian Nichols. Brian Nichols was on trial for rape in Atlanta when he escaped from custody and murdered the presiding judge, a court reporter, a Sheriff’s deputy and a federal agent. A huge manhunt took place and he was apprehended after taking a woman hostage.  

Gary Hilton. The sociopath kidnapped and brutally murdered 24-year old Meredith Emerson while she was hiking. He is now on trial the killing of Cheryl Dunlap, a nurse and Sunday School teacher. Hilton was captured on January 4th at a gas station across the street from the bar where I was celebrating my 28th birthday. Scary.

I did it!

I blogged EVERY day in November. Sure, a lot of it was complaining about the Wench and life in general (thanks for dealing with my down days!), but I DID IT!

I’m actually starting to feel a little cheerier. Maybe it’s the decorations, maybe it’s the break from work. Who knows?

Today is cold and rainy so I’m going to enjoy my last day of rest before going back to work tomorrow.

Animal Cruelty

Oh. Hey. Guess what arrived in the mail? Yep. My wig.  As you can tell, Dixie is more than happy to model it.

She wasn’t as cooperative with the false lashes though.

I think I’m gonna start putting wigs on her when we go for walks. Maybe I’ll get a Sarah Palin do or Bob Marley dreadlocks. Dixie could totally pull off the rastafarian look.

Sure, people may think I’m strange, but it’s no weirder than my neighbor who WALKS HER CAT.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Yes. I am one of those people. One of those people who decorates the entire house (apartment in my case) the day after Thanksgiving and leaves no surface unadorned.

It’s a sickness. Really. My roommate did her part and set out the Christmas napkins, but everything else belongs to me. Since my parents are in the process of moving, half of my decorations are at their old house while the other half are at their new house. At some point, one vital bag filled with my ornaments, tree skirt and lights went missing, so I had to buy all new ones. I’m not quite finished with everything, but here’s what I have so far.

The tree still needs a topper and skirt.

I collect villages. Sad, I know.

Snowglobes!

More villages. I need to fix the cords.

Ahh family…

Yesterday was overall a good day. The night kind of ended on a sour note, though, when my brother called from Albany, GA to say his wife was in the hospital with contractions. They drove down to her family’s cabin even after the doctor told her she needed to rest and take it easy, otherwise she’d be put on bed rest. My mom was crying and pleading with her not to go down there, but she wouldn’t listen. Now she’s in the hospital and is being transferred to Northside Hospital in Atlanta on Saturday and will most likely be put on bedrest until the babies come in January.

Call me crazy but wouldn’t you heed your doctor’s orders if this was your first successful attempt at in vitro and your pregnancy was considered high-risk?

Anyways, back to yesterday.

My grandmother and I ate lunch at the Cracker Barrel and had a great time. She’s the one member of my family that I can actually talk to and talk we did. We talked about me wanting to move, how my brother is an ass to me, my adoption and how my aunt doesn’t like our side of the family, among other things. Naturally, she didn’t want me to move but only because she never thought of moving away from her family and it sounds like a scary thing to do.

OK, let’s now play a game called ‘Wrong Answer Mom”.

Yesterday, I went to see Twilight with my mom and told her my plan for moving and we discussed what all has been going on. To further prove that my mother doesn’t relate to me, here are her responses to some of my questions and comments.

1. Me: Mom, will you come visit me when I move (keep in mind she never visited in college or when I lived in Birmingham)?
Her wrong answer: Well, where are you moving to? When are you moving? Have you thought this plan through?
What she should have said: Of course! I’ll visit you wherever you go. You’re my one and only daughter!

2. Me: Yeah, I didn’t really feel like going to my 10-year reunion. It’d be like, look at me, I’ve done nothing since high school.
Her wrong answer: Well, you can’t let life pass you by. You have to go out there and meet people, etc. (because as we all know, I sit on my ass and do nothing day after day, and NEVER go out and meet people)
What she should have said: What are you talking about? That’s crazy talk. You’ve done so much with your life over the past ten years. Don’t let people tell you that you have to have things done by a certain time.

Me: Yes, moving to a new place is scary, but I’m sure I’ll be fine.
Mom’s wrong answer: Yeah, but you won’t have anyone to bring you chicken soup when you’re sick.
What she should have said: Anything but that! I’m an adult! I’m ready to start giving my own children chicken soup.

Ahh, my mother. I love her but she has no idea how to relate to me. And of course, it makes my life miserable thinking I don’t meet up to her expectations.

And my mom confirmed that my brother says some incredibly mean and hateful things to people, but told me I should take it with a grain of salt.

Um. No?

How was everyone else’s turkey day?

Gobble Gobble

Happy Turkey Day, Kids.

I’m heading over to my Grandmother’s in a little while to eat lunch at my Granddad’s nursing home since they can’t be with the rest of the family today.

I’m very excited about it because I haven’t seen my Granddad since Christmas! And I’m his favorite Grandkid.

At least I’m someone’s favorite

PS. I’m watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade and they just said Rick Astley is appearing on the show! Is America about to be Rick Roll’d?

Countdown to 30

I turn 29 in 38 days. Which is scary because I don’t look 29, I don’t feel 29, I don’t act 29 and I definitely don’t have a job a 29 year old would have. Based on this, I should be celebrating my 25th birthday. Unfortunately, I’ve done the calculations OVER and OVER and it keeps adding up to 29. Damn.

I don’t see any way of getting around the whole 29 thing and of course, we all know what comes after 29….

The dreaded 30.

Turning thirty isn’t really that scary. But I’m afraid I’ll be in this same place next year and if that’s the case, I might just go ahead and slit my wrists. Because I don’t think I could handle it with my current situation.

But since I have no desire to put any sharp object near my body, I must make changes to my life.

So here’s my list of things I must change before I turn thirty.

(In no particular order)

1. Get out of debt. This might actually happen with the help of the drastic measures I’m taking to eliminate my debt.

2. Get fit and stay fit. I have a gym at my office that I keep meaning to use. I just like to procrastinate. I wish I could find a permanent place to put my pole but there’s no room!

3. Change my eating habits. If you knew how shitty my eating habits are, you’d be appalled. I am a fast food junkie.

4. Remedy my current job situation. Before I got let go, I was afraid to leave my job because my company had strung me along for so long with the promise of a marketing role, and was afraid I wouldn’t find a job without that coveted title. But I’m not scared now.

5. Have better routines. I can’t remember the last time I took off my eye makeup before going to bed. The same goes for washing my face. I can’t continue to live like this. I need to work on my bedtime routine.

6. Go back to church. I’ve been to church 3 times this year; I used to go every week. I don’t know what caused the change; I think I just got annoyed with my Sunday School class because the dynamics have changed and there are a lot of younger people in it (I’m talking fresh out of college young). So, I either need to find a new church or a new Sunday School class.

7. Drink less. I’m sure you’re shocked to see me write this, but I have been drinking excessively lately. I recently implemented a ‘no alcohol at home during the week’ policy and I’ve stuck to it. I don’t want to stop going out and having a good time, but I have a tendency to have a glass of wine with my dinner at home and end up drinking the entire bottle.

8. Be tidier. I hate cleaning. When I’m in a funk (like I have been for the past month or so), I don’t want to clean, so my room has been in a constant state of disarray. As well as my car.

9. Move. I’m sorry to all of my Atlanta friends but this is happening. I feel like I’m being suffocated by the city and I need a fresh start someplace where I don’t meet people who work with a friend I went to elementary school with. I need to have my own experiences away from the place I grew up and the family who has lived here for generations. I want my children to have different experiences than I did and a better education. Where? Well, I’ll let my grad school applications decide that.

10. Go back to school. I’ve been toying with this idea for the past four years and, after the job fallout, I feel like I need to get into gear and go back to school. After talking to my guru (BFF), I’m leaning towards full-time because I can be done in a year and make more money. Plus, I won’t have to work 40 hours a week and then go to class; I’d like to continue to have somewhat of a life.

There you have it. 10 things that need to happen before I turn 30. All reasonable. All doable. All starting January 4th, 2009.

My 2 cents on the (un)Real Housewives of Atlanta

OK OK! I’ll admit it. I watch the show sometimes! I don’t like to admit it because, well, they do such a disservice to Atlanta, and it is just cringeworthy. I did get a kick out of the reunion show last night though; I kept expecting someone to say something like, “No, you’re worse than Heidi!” (that’s my new favorite phrase now).

I know every blogger out there has given their opinions on the show, but I figured I’d add mine as well.

My biggest complaint is that four out of the five women don’t actually live in Atlanta. They live in the über suburbs. Let me show you what I mean.

As you can see on the map, the star is where the city of Atlanta is. The highway that circles the city is 285 and divides the city into two categories, ITP (inside the perimeter) and OTP (outside the perimeter). There are several suburbs that edge on the perimeter and it is acceptable for these areas to be considered Atlanta. Sheree lives in Sandy Springs which is right outside the perimeter, but the other women live in what I like the call the über suburbs.

Basically, an über suburb is any suburb that does not butt up against the perimeter; you have to go through one or more suburb to get to Atlanta. Technically, the show should be called the Real Housewives of the Atlanta Metropolitan Area.

Another thing that bugs me is that the women decided to design a clothing line/create a foundation/do DNA testing on their father/start a singing career all within those few months when the camera was rolling. Because that screams real.

And Kim? If your hair started falling out 3 years ago and everything is all good now, why the wig? 3 years is enough time for your hair to be a pretty decent length. Just look at Britney.

DeShawn, DeShawn, DeShawn. You are so sweet but it bugs the crap out of me when you add an R to every word you say. It makes you look stupid.

Sheree? Just because you have money does not mean you should be designing your own clothes. Leave that to people who actually know a thing or two about style.

OK. That’s all I have to say about the show. I’m still trying to figure out how Kim can claim she’s a year older than me. Maybe all those cigarettes have aged her.

Quick Question

When people email you, do you email them back to confirm you got it?

Because I normally don’t.

But got scolded for not doing it.

Take this job and shove it…

OK. You guys might not believe this but…

the Wench has been moderately nice to me today!

I know! Crazy, right?

But the day hasn’t been without some drama.

One of our partners asked me if I would fill out his expense report and I gladly accepted because I had nothing else to do. He asked if I could get it done in an hour and I thought it wouldn’t be a problem.

Then he brought the reports to me. And receipts. For FOUR months!

So, I started working while cursing under my breath and realized that he didn’t have receipts for everything but included his bank statements. The receipts he did have were for restaurants and didn’t include the tips he left, so I had to cross reference the bank statements to see what the actual total should be.

It was a nightmare. Not to mention that he kept coming up to my desk to see if I was finished.

What kind of person thinks four months of expense reports could be done in an hour when all the information isn’t there???

It left me with a killer headache and utter hatred for any work considered admin.