Teetering between SoCal Socialite and Best Aunt Ever

Sisinlaw’s mom has been in town to help out with Nug and Burr for the past week and I totally heart her. She moved out to Laguna Niguel after her husband (sisinlaw’s dad) cheated on her 15 years ago, and has totally become this über SoCal woman–yoga, holistic healing, house overlooking the ocean, blonde, skinny, etc. She rocks. She’s everything my Southern Living mother is not.

And it’s one of the places I’ve thought about moving to…well, when moving was a viable option.

My mom would be at peace knowing Sisinlaw’s sisters lived in the area and their mom would be there to take care of me (a fair trade for my mom taking care of the twins), and everyone would be happy.

But at the same time, I don’t want to leave my nieces anytime soon. I’m their only aunt in town and they are my only nieces, so I feel like I need to be here for them. Someone needs to tell them how to be cool. And it’s amazing how quickly I’ve fallen head over heels in love with them.

So, I’m torn. My desire to move far far away has been nearly overthrown by my desire to be near my family. Who woulda thunk it?

Did I mention that my brother and I have gotten along really well over the past week?

Moments with Blondie and Roomie

Roomie (adding important events to our new calendar): Ooh. Day o’ sacrifice (aka Ash Wednesday) is coming up. What should I give up for Lent?
Me: I don’t know. I’m thinking the usual sweets or chocolate. Maybe fried foods.
Roomie (flipping ahead to see when Easter is): I think I’m going to give up trashy magazines. Aww man! Easter isn’t until the middle of April. Lent is gonna be soooo long this year.
Me: Um, 40 days like always.
Roomie: Oh. Yeah. Well, it just seems like a long time.

Roomie: My sister and I are going to see Pat Greene at Wild Bill’s next month, do you wanna go? Do you know who that is?
Me: Um. Not sure, is he an old dude? Oh wait, I’m thinking of Al Green.
Roomie: No, he’s middle aged, like 30 or 35.

What I’ve Realized

I have absolutely no idea what I want out of life.

Terrifying thought, right?

I’ve become effing bipolar trying to figure this out. Here are the internal conflicts I’m experiencing.

• The job I’m currently interviewing for would be something I could really enjoy. It’s a small company, everyone is like family, and I could totally head up the marketing efforts. GOOD
• This would delay my return to grad school and would keep me in Atlanta a while longer. BAD
• If I get a position that is less desirable, it would be easier to leave when my lease is up. GOODish
• But I’m second guessing grad school due to the time required and limited income to pay bills. BAD

This is where I am right now. Completely clueless. Make up my mind already!

Go me.

Hey, what’s up?

Not much, you?

It’s freezing here in Atlanta. It’s even colder at my parents’ house where I’m hijacking their computer. My fingers hurt.

I was supposed to go to the unemployment office today to finally file for unemployment but my phone informed me it was 11 degrees outside and I thought it could wait another day.

The lady I interviewed with before I found out I was losing my job FINALLY called me back. They decided to make the position part-time. Bastards.

But I do have a phone interview next week. Fingers crossed.

My nieces should be arriving soon. Not quite sure when. Any day but the 21st because I will never be sober on their birthday since that is Serial’s birthday.

My blog is 1 today! Happy Birthday baby!

I’m actually too cold to think of stuff to type.

My state of being

I am not meant for working from home or being a housewife. This past week has been the worst week ever. Well, OK, maybe i’m exaggerating. Or maybe I’m not. If this is the worst week ever, then I’ve had a pretty good run, doncha think?

Anyways, this week has sucked because I haven’t done anything. The past two weeks were pretty much party party party, and then everyone went back to work on Monday and I was left all alone at home with no computer or anyone to talk to. My own personal hell. So when nighttime came around, I was itching to get out and be social. Luckily, book club was on Monday night and the awesome RioD came to Cheers with me on Wednesday. The nights that I didn’t have anything to do were awful because I, again, got to sit at home alone with my thoughts. Not my idea of fun.

I am far too social to enjoy sitting at home night after night, even days when I do have work. Sure, the occasional night in is enjoyable but consecutive nights gets tedious.

And on top of that, I keep getting a ton of people telling me how I should be living my life. Right now my life consists of searching for a job and drinking. That’s right, I said it. Drinking. Drinking makes me happy. I laugh when I drink. I smile when I drink. And I don’t plan on changing that right now. So give it a rest.

In an odd twist of fate, my brother and I had a pretty good conversation the other day. And I’m starting to get comfortable with the idea of being an aunt. It’s not that I don’t want to be an aunt, it’s that I wish my own life was little more put together beforehand. It’s hard seeing your only sibling getting everything while you are barely treading water.

But I do have some pretty awesome friends. Two I want to give shout outs to. First, RioD for getting me a computer from her office. I’m way grateful and really excited to get it next week! Thanks a ton! You rock!
The second is the Ex. He’s been really supportive and a great source of entertainment this past week.

Well, that’s all I’ve got right now. I’m a bit tired because I’ve written all of this on my phone. Thank God for Steve. He’s been a lifesaver this week.

By the way, my new favorite apps are LoseIt!, CareerBuilder, and Craigsphone (a mobile Craigslist app). I love being able to search jobs on my phone.

I totally suck right now.

I suck right now, guys, and I’m sorry; I haven’t been reading your blogs or commenting like I should. I have a bajillion posts waiting to be read in my google reader but I just haven’t had the energy to read them. I promise once I get my computer up and running I’ll be a better blogger!

I’ll be back soon.

I promise I’ll be back to write more soon. Not having a computer really sucks and using my parents noisy one gives me a headache and writer’s block.

Boo.

Happy birthday to me

Today is my birthday. And, well, all I feel is old and unloved. I just hoped that the shit from last year would magically end at 12:01 on NYE, but I guess not. I did had a fabulous birthday weekend despite a ton of craziness and drama. But now, the reality of unemployment is settling in, and to top it off, my computer is completely fried. Which puts a huge damper on my job search. And puts me in a shitty mood. So, yay, happy birthday to me.