Proving that blondes do have more fun.
D.I.D (Douchebag in Disguise): noun. A total jerk who doesn’t display the normal characteristics of a douchebag.
Some douchebags are easy to spot. They sport Ed Hardy shirts, pop their collars, wear baseball hats askew, etc.
But then there are the douchebags who seem perfectly normal until you get to know them. These are the DIDs.
Last Wednesday was one of the most entertaining happy hours I can remember. It started out innocently enough; Serial and I both had crappy days at work so we were itching for some alcohol. We got our respective drinks and before I knew it, Serial had downed her entire drink. (For the record, that never happens. I’m normally a drink ahead of her). A little later RioD and Roomie joined us and we got up to mingle and play trivia. We were 7th in line to play trivia but these 2 guys needed someone to play them so Serial and I volunteered. They were so drunk that they kept hitting the buzzer before the guy finished asking the question so we ended up destroying them.
After that was over, I went to close out my tab because it was going to be past midnight before they got to our team in trivia. One of the guys came over to talk to me and kept trying to buy me a drink. I told him he didn’t even know my name and he said it didn’t matter! I ended up finding out that he does Crisis Management aka, damage control, for a living. Sounds like a winner. The other guy ended up chatting with Serial and then sort of followed us out into the parking lot.
Yay for douchebaggery. Hopefully, they won’t be there tomorrow night. It should be a lot of fun. Especially since I’m giving blood in the morning. I’ll only need one drink.
We were very disappointed with the amount of man candy at Oysterfest this year. In fact, almost all the guys there can be placed into 3 douchebag categories.
Ed Hardy/Muscle Tee Macho Men: Muscular, macho men always seem to wear the Ed Hardy tee shirts. I guess since they spend so much time at the gym working on their biceps, they want to wear an overpriced designer tee shirt to show off their muscles. I don’t get it. I never see scrawny guys wearing these shirts. (btw, these were the guys who sat on our laps….without permission)
Sunglasses at Night/Indoors: I found so many violations of this at Oysterfest. Take your glasses off when you walk inside. Unless you just had your eyes dilated, you don’t need them. It does not increase your coolness factor.
Popped collar/visors: These two go hand-in-hand and I don’t know why. Combining two independently douchebag items does not make them non-douchebag. A negative plus a negative doesn’t equal a positive.
Basically, all of these styles have an element of egotism that is a major turnoff to normal girls. If you’re wearing something and think to yourself, “Man, I look so cool in this” chances are, you don’t.
