Posts Tagged 'family crap'

Weekend Wackiness in Picture Form

In Atlanta, we get a fair number of severe storms in the Spring. The first big storm of the season happened on the night of the Braves home opener, a game I attended. All afternoon, the wind was gusting and the sky looked incredibly ominous,

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but a few beers at the tailgating spot kept us from thinking about it.

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(Some humping was going on)

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(I captured this incredible photo. I call it ‘Stairwell Placement Fail’)

Halfway through the 3rd inning, the floodgates opened and started pouring rain on us.

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Our group took shelter under an escalator behind the Top of the Chop and in the process of securing better shelter, a concession cart was rolled onto my foot.

Then, it started hailing.

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After 15 minutes or so, it cleared off enough for us to find a first aid tent to bandage my badly bleeding toe. They took pictures of the injury and asked me a million questions about how it happened before putting a bandage on it and sending me on my way.

At this point, our group had scattered and everyone decided to leave and regroup at a friend’s house. There may have been a bottle of Jose Cuervo in the car ride there, and I may have gotten a contact high from the weed my friends were smoking.

Back at my friend’s house, I met a robot.

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We hit it off.

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(notice the bloody toe)

After watching a married guy hit on two girls, my friend and I decided to mosey back to our neck of the woods and we had one drink at Cheers before I decided I had enough fun for the night. Plus, I had a busy day on Saturday.

Because my party was that night.

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That day, Serial and went to Party City (and Old Navy, and H&M, and Banana Republic and a bunch of other places that had nothing to do with our party. We get sidetracked.) to get some money decorations since it was recession themed.

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(gotta have bling)

Serial made jello shots and I made a vodka punch.

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(It’s like easter eggs for adults!)

Serial had too much vodka in a short period of time and up and left at 11 without telling anyone goodbye.

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(the last picture of Serial before she did her disappearing act. The person on the phone showed up to the party a short time later and said he couldn’t understand what she was saying. She is now banned from vodka. Forever)

The party raged on for a few more hours (the wig and cowboy hat made an appearance)

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and after the alcohol ran out, the last of us headed to Cheers (especially since Grabs was mad at a boy and needed another beer). I may have taken a few shots and got dancing fever.

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SOMEHOW, I woke up this morning without the least bit of a hangover (except being slightly tired from going to bed at 4 am) which was good because I had to do the family thing for Easter.

Church is a lot more entertaining when you have a baby in your lap.

Afterwards, we met at my parents house for lunch and my grandmother told me I was fat. Her exact words were “You and I are getting really fat”. And then proceeded to tell me how hard it is to lose weight.

Yay.

Then, my mom was chatting with a friend whose son was getting married and made the comment “Aren’t you happy to have all of your kids married?”

Yay again.

THEN, my mom’s friend came over (who has one schizophrenic son and another who has no goals for life, and therefore is living vicariously through my mom) and called herself Granny around my brother’s girls much to the chagrin of me and Sisinlaw. She gave everyone Easter cards except for me.

Yay times 3.

And now I’m reminded why I want to leave Atlanta.

It’s still gonna happen. Just not as soon as I had hoped.

When I finally managed to escape, I had the fun task of cleaning up after the party. I filled 4 trash bags with bottles and cups.

And with that, another fun weekend is over. Back to the grind tomorrow.

And speaking of Easter and sacreligious stuff, my comment count is currently at 666. Please post a comment. That’s a little creepy.

Holidays

I don’t like other people’s kids. Why? Because I want my own so bad that I can’t stand to be around anyone else’s kids or babies. Unless you’re on of my really close friends, I don’t wanna hold your baby or hear pregnancy stories. I feel pregnant women and mothers have this self-righteous attitude when around those who don’t have babies. Like their lives are more valuable now that they’ve procreated.

I’ve wanted kids for as long as I could remember. Thankfully, I wasn’t stupid enough to get pregnant at a young age (although part of me wanted to), but it’s a very difficult subject for me to talk about. It probably stems from being adopted and wanting to have my own family. I love my family but I always feel like the outsider and it’s very obvious that we don’t share anything more than a last name.

That being said, I’m already dreading the upcoming holiday season. I haven’t seen my brother and his wife since before she got pregnant and I don’t have any desire to see them or be a part of their babies lives. I know it’s a horrible thing to say, but it’s true. I have no relationship with my brother and the only thing that keeps us in contact is my mom.

Naturally, I can already picture the Thanksgiving and Christmas conversation.

“Aren’t you excited about being an aunt?”
Fucking thrilled. I’m so happy my brother gets every fucking thing he asks for in life and has never had to struggle with anything.

“Are you gonna babysit the twins?”
No. I’m planning on becoming a full-fledged alcoholic at that point, so no one will want me to watch their kids. I’d become an alcoholic to avoid that.

Then, of course, they’ll talk to my sister-in-law about being pregnant, and what it feels like, and I’ll be the odd one out, again.

My mom will get mad at me for being ‘weird’ and when I try to explain, she’ll tell me I’m being unreasonable and that she loves me equally (money does not equal love, Mom), and will love my children as much as his.

Which is BS. She has refused to speak about my adoption which has fucked me up royally over the years and by doing so, put up a wall between us. Good move Mom. She only visited me at Auburn once…I was graduating. But went to my brother’s college baseball games every weekend in NC. She also never visited me in Birmingham. She visits my brother’s house all the time and is moving down the street from him, but only comes to my apartment at my Christmas party. I’m seeing the equality. As for my kids? Well, I’m not planning on raising them in Atlanta and I doubt I’ll be within driving distance, so they won’t really know their grandparents that well. Plus, don’t forget that my mom never visited when I was in college, why would she now?  

So, now I’m trying to find a way out of the family stuff this holiday season. If I had money, I’d go visit Dubdub since I couldn’t a few weeks ago. If I had a boyfriend, I could say I’m spending time with his family.

But I have neither. And will have to be creative. Maybe an extended stay in the Betty Ford Clinic?

Ideas? Suggestions? Anyone want to house me for the holidays?


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