Like being able to multitask?

Detail oriented. Effective note taker. Type 50+ words per minute. Proven sales record. Advanced knowledge of computer programs. Six Sigma Black Belt. Highly attractive.

Most of these are phrases you’d find in job postings. The last was one I saw today in a posting for an Office Manager. Sure, in some industries you’d expect a phrase like this – pretty people do help sell certain products. But an Office Manager?

At first I questioned the ethics of such a posting; isn’t it considered discrimination against ugly people? But then I thought some more – not everyone is detail oriented or a good note taker. These are skills you either have or don’t have. Or you learn them. Couldn’t attractiveness be considered the same? If you’re not attractive (or don’t think you are), there are ways to change that.

So, I applied and sent my photo as was requested in the posting. My resume is exceptional and I’m still not getting call backs from the companies I’m applying with, so why not use my looks to help me out? I feel like the ball is in my court – I mean, how many young attractive women are looking for office manager positions in Atlanta? Hopefully not many. And if that’s what it takes to get a job, so be it.

And guess what? They want to set up an interview! I got called same day I sent in my resume!

Do I feel dirty? A little. Do I want a job bad enough to look past the dirtiness? Most likely. I’m giving myself until the morning to determine if I’m going to set up an interview.

Bummmmed.

Blog readers, Blondie is bummed. Bummed because boys bite, buddies blow and being berth-less (see number 3) burns. Alright, enough with the alliteration.

I imagined my job quest would be a little more spectacular than it has been. I pictured a human resources manager picking my resume up off the fax machine and spinning around triumphantly yelling, “We’ve found her!”

But there has been no spinning. No yelling. No triumphant.

But I guess I can’t really blame people. I did only start applying to jobs last Wednesday. I have a meeting with a recruiter on Wednesday about an admin position.

That’s another thing.

I’m bummed about having to look for an admin position. I want to be challenged at work and these positions seem like they are just basic jobs. But I am the retard that thought Criminology would be a good degree to get. At the time, I didn’t want to work in an office. (stupid stupid stupid)

I’m also bummed because, while some friends have really gone out of their way to make sure I’m doing OK, others seem like they could care less. And that hurts. In the span of two weeks, I got dumped, lost my job, stuck my head through a wall thus spraining my neck and got my car towed. Even my own mother acts like she doesn’t really care. She got annoyed when I asked her to pick me up and take me to the ER Saturday night because I was having sharp pain in my neck and trouble swallowing.

Today, I applied for a position that required me to register on their website and after I would register, it would take me back to the registration page, as if I didn’t register at all…Did I mention it’s an IT company? Someone needs to fix that!!

After I submitted my resume, I got an email to complete a skill assessment that required me to find the hidden 5 letter word, tell which letters don’t belong, etc. Then there was a math section. The questions were something like, “You have 4 numbers: 9, 16, 12, 5. Take the first two numbers and add them together and multiply them by the largest number”. There were 12 questions and I had 2 minutes. TWO MINUTES!! I can do math, just not speed math. Why would a Tradeshow Assistant need to do speed math like that? Hello? I have an iPhone. It does that for me!

Did anyone catch TrueBlood last night after Entourage? I thought it was really good. It’s about vampires who have ‘come out of the coffin’ (heh) because Japanese scientists have created synthetic blood. And vampire blood is supposed to make you healthy so some people go and drain the vampires’ blood and sell it (they call it v-juice).  

It’s definitely a show I’ll have to catch again. That and ‘Sons of Anarchy’. Mmm, hottie.

Ok, back to the job search.

Things I don’t want to hear from you

Things happen for a reason. No shit. But 80% of the time we never realize what that reason was, so it’s really not helpful to hear that from you.

The boy is an asshole/jerk/sketchy. Granted, I’m not a huge fan of the boy right now, but I do respect that he was honest with me and if I’m not the one for him, then so be it. I don’t need you telling me how he’s a jerk or sketchy because up until a week ago, you didn’t think so.

The economy sucks. Really? Are you sure? Cause I’m just a dumb blonde and know nothing about the economy. And telling me this when I’m out of a job makes me feel SUPER!

Our company is hiring for [insert mundane clerical job here]. My IQ is 130; what’s yours? I’d rather become a prostitute than insult my brain like that. I also made $40,000 and couldn’t survive on what that position normally pays.

Have you found a job yet?  Have you gotten a text message/phone call/facebook status update from me? Trust me, as soon as I know, you’ll know.