Well Read

A funny thing happened after I graduated in December: I wanted to READ. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always been an avid reader, but for the 2 years I was back in school, I didn’t crack open a book that wasn’t required by a professor. Now I want to read all the time. Sure, it may have something to do with the Kindle Fire my Boyfriend got me for my birthday, and the bajillion books he loaded onto it, but I think it think it has more to do with my brain no longer being controlled by marketing plans, case studies and presentations. Just to give you perspective, here’s what I’ve read since January 15th. 


Hunger Games Trilogy

Harry Potter 1-4 (Ok, so I’ve already read these, but it’s been a while and I wanted to relive them)

Ms. Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children

The Night Circus

The 4 Hour Body


Of course, this doesn’t include the books I’ve started, but haven’t finished. Such as Room and The Princess Bride. 

I think that’s a fairly impressive list for 2 months. 


***I got called out on the fact that I made a big deal about reviving my blog and then not writing in it for a month. I’m sorry. Between finals, graduation, the flu and the holidays, I really didn’t feel like writing about anything.*** 

2012 entered with a bang. Not like one of those adorable little popper things that strews streamers everywhere, but like a buckshot to the face. New years eve and new years day were innocuous enough; in fact, I didn’t even do anything for NYE. (A far cry from past NYEs. Ahem). Then on the 3rd, my grandmother died. Not from some long drawn out illness, but rather suddenly. Heck, I just spent the holidays with her and she was the picture of health. Needless to say, this was the worst day I’ve had in a rather long time. And it extended into the 4th, which happened to be my birthday. I know, right? Knowing my grandmother, I know she would have been so upset if she died on my birthday, so maybe she tried to make her exit as swiftly as possible.

As of today, my family has not yet celebrated my birthday. Which is a bummer, because we ALWAYS celebrate my birthday with a family dinner and a homemade cake. It really bums me out.

Which brings me to this weekend. It’s been ages since I’ve gone to a party or have been social at all. The week before Christmas I had the flu so I missed every holiday party I was invited to. Anyways, Katie’s birthday party was last night and I was excited about going and being social and seeing all my friends who I never got to see while I was in school. Makeup was on, hair was did and I was about to walk out the door when I started feeling sick. Like curl up in a ball on the bathroom floor sick. I thought it would pass shortly until boyfriend started feeling sick too. Oh crap. At first I thought food poisoning because we ate the same thing for lunch, but after talking to my mom, I learned she had also been sick. Whew, Chick-Fil-A was not to blame.  So here I am, eating soup and saltines while hoping my stomach feels better by tomorrow.

2012 had better start getting better REAL soon!

Little Shit on the Shelf

While unpacking ornaments at my boyfriend’s house the other day, I found a cute little ancient gold elf that was probably some sort of predecessor to the wildly popular Elf on the Shelf. I always thought the idea of the Elf on the Shelf was cute and seeing my nieces get excited about finding Elfie has made me want to do one myself. So after finding the gold dude, I proposed a challenge to my boyfriend; we each take turns hiding Elfie for the other to find. But unlike the regular Elf on the Shelf, each scenario needs to be adult themed of some sort. Yesterday, I presented my opening ante:

Uh oh, someone’s been a bad widdle elf. 

Look how smug that elf looks. He’s all, “haha, I ruined your contraceptive”. The little shit.

Today, it was boyfriend’s turn to hide Elfie, or Little Shit as we have started to call him. I wasn’t really expecting much of an effort from him cause, well, he’s a dude, but when I opened the fridge this morning to get my coffee creamer, I almost pissed my pants.


Oh my God. I love this man. I mean, check out the level of detail! He even put a piece of garland on his head and wrapped him in a paper towel toga. Granted, those are Dixie’s anti-fungal pills, but still. Hats off to my scruffy nerf herder.

Of course, now I really have to step up my game…

Dirty 30 — Revised

Before I turned thirty I made of list of things that I hadn’t done in my 20’s. Since then, the list has…well….changed. See for yourself.

I didn’t:

get married
get a DUI
have a family member die
fall in love
go to an amusement park — I really think I was in high school the last time I went to one. Can you believe it?
learn how to stay on budget
get knocked up — had a few close calls though
end up hospitalized — trips to the emergency room don’t count
blackout from drinking
run out of gas
get into a car accident that was my fault
get a speeding ticket
have a random hookup
get a tattoo


The last entry I made to this blog before I stopped writing was in January 2010. When I went back and reread everything, I couldn’t help but notice that I don’t hang out with hardly any of the people I write about anymore. It’s sad to think that people you spent so much time with are no longer your friends. Granted, not every friendship ended. Some moved away and some I just lost touch with. It’s even sadder to think that my current friends might not be around later, but I guess that’s how life is.

Recently, I went through my page about the major characters in the blog, but after deleting nearly all of them, I just decided to make the page private for the time being rather than updating it. I also contemplated deleting all the old posts and starting new, but I like having the old posts there, even if I’m the only one reading them.  It reminds me of who I was.

Speaking of which, I got an interesting text from my ex-fiance the other day. He has a new girlfriend who apparently went to college with a guy I’m friends on Facebook (and slept with, but whatever) and the ex wanted me to not mention that we were ever engaged. To say I was livid was an understatement. I spent 5 years with the dude, spend a ton of money on our wedding that we didn’t have, and he wanted me to act like it never happened?

I told him that it wasn’t my responsibility to keep her from finding out, and that he probably should be open and honest with her if he really cares about her. He didn’t like that answer. I pointed out that he would probably be a little pissed off if he found out down the road that she had been engaged or married and never told him. His response: “I don’t care about her past. The only thing that matters to me is what happens from the day I met her.”

Awww! So sweet! So incredibly, insanely stupid and naive, but sweet.

Here are my two cents. Our pasts make us who we are today. My engagement and subsequent breakup made me analyze things in my life and change them. If it hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be who I am today. From our experiences, we learn and adapt to make us who we are at this point in time. It’s stupid to keep that from people you love. And I definitely would want to know if my boyfriend had been engaged or married. In fact, I’d probably kick his fucking ass if he withheld something like that from me.

The same goes with friendships. The friends that I’ve lost over the years have had an impact on my life, too. Whether they serve as reminders of how (not) to treat people or how to stay in touch when someone moves away, I’m not just going to sweep the memories of them under the rug.

But am I going to pick up the phone and call these friends to catch up? Oh hell no.

Well, I’m back.

And what an adventure it’s been.

(If you’re not nerdy enough to get the LOTR reference, I feel sorry for you. Really really sorry.)

I’m not going to update you on the last year and a half of my life, but let’s just say that it has involved a lot of school and drinking. Sometimes at the same time. Thankfully the school journey is coming to an end this fall.  It’s funny, I had almost forgotten about this blog until a few weeks ago when I happened upon it and spent the next day re-reading every entry. And by day, I mean entire day. Some made me laugh, some made me sad, others made me scratch my head and say, “when did that happen?”. My life has been somewhat transitional with school and everything — being in a perpetual state of brokeness doesn’t help things either — but reading back through the blog made me realize how awesome I used to be. And sure, I still think I’m awesome…just not that awesome. I guess being back in school has cut down on my adventures. Or maybe I forget about the adventures because I don’t write about them.

Maybe I should try to change that…



Alter Egos

For my dirty 30 party, I got all my friends to dress as their alter egos — complete with wigs and costumes. There were cowboys and cowgirls, hippies and hipsters, gangsters and train wrecks, barbie dolls and russian hookers, and of course, a pole dancing rollergirl (me). My wig was actually a bright shade of red (think Britney Spears in Toxic) but showed up as white in the B&W pics. Here are my favorite pics from the night (all of me, of course).

Dirty 30

I turned 30 on Monday and, believe it or not, I was actually quite pumped about it.  A few months ago I decided to tackle my 30’s head on, otherwise, I knew I’d be bummed out all the time, so I’m throwing myself a big Alter Ego party this weekend — everyone is dressing up as their alter ego and we are hitting the town. It should be quite a memorable time. Of course, turning 30 has made me reflect on my twenties and, while not being one who makes ‘stuff to do before…’ lists, I began thinking of all the things I didn’t do in my 20’s.

I didn’t:
get married
get a DUI
have a family member die
fall in love
go to an amusement park — I really think I was in high school the last time I went to one. Can you believe it?
learn how to stay on budget
get knocked up — had a few close calls though
end up hospitalized — trips to the emergency room don’t count
blackout from drinking
run out of gas
get into a car accident that was my fault
get a speeding ticket
have a random hookup
get a tattoo

Of course, now I’m thinking of things I want to do now that I’m thirty. Right now, all I can think of is 1.have sex in a ball pit and 2. get a tattoo.  And trust me when I say I’ve been looking into constructing a ball pit.

What are some things you don’t want to/didn’t do in your twenties?

The End of 09

Goals for NYE:

Make out with complete strangers
Don’t get so drunk that I can’t function on New Years Day
Take lots of pictures
Have new years sex

The day isn’t over yet, so I’ve got time to complete that one.

Last night was a spectacular success. I was supposed to go to a friend’s party but when I found my dress to be too tight — that on top of worrying about how I’d get home — I just decided to call it a wash. But then my roommate and her friends decided to go out to the bars by our house so I tagged along, and it resulted in one of the most hilarious New Years Eve on record. I sucked face with two random guys at a bar, made snow angels on a fake blanket of snow on the sidewalk, met some drag queens in the bathroom, had my ex tell me I’m ‘the one’, got a 5am booty call, etc, etc, etc.

2010 is gonna be a pretty stellar year. I can feel it!

I’m thinking…

This blog needs a makeover. And revamping. And just to have the slate wiped clean. Ya know, since I’m turning 30, going back to school, trying out for the roller derby and getting back on the pole. Big changes, folks. And don’t worry, cause I’m totally thinking of ways to combine derby and pole dancing. Derby dancing? Pole Derby? I could get some serious spin if I were on skates.

That’s all.

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