The last entry I made to this blog before I stopped writing was in January 2010. When I went back and reread everything, I couldn’t help but notice that I don’t hang out with hardly any of the people I write about anymore. It’s sad to think that people you spent so much time with are no longer your friends. Granted, not every friendship ended. Some moved away and some I just lost touch with. It’s even sadder to think that my current friends might not be around later, but I guess that’s how life is.
Recently, I went through my page about the major characters in the blog, but after deleting nearly all of them, I just decided to make the page private for the time being rather than updating it. I also contemplated deleting all the old posts and starting new, but I like having the old posts there, even if I’m the only one reading them. It reminds me of who I was.
Speaking of which, I got an interesting text from my ex-fiance the other day. He has a new girlfriend who apparently went to college with a guy I’m friends on Facebook (and slept with, but whatever) and the ex wanted me to not mention that we were ever engaged. To say I was livid was an understatement. I spent 5 years with the dude, spend a ton of money on our wedding that we didn’t have, and he wanted me to act like it never happened?
I told him that it wasn’t my responsibility to keep her from finding out, and that he probably should be open and honest with her if he really cares about her. He didn’t like that answer. I pointed out that he would probably be a little pissed off if he found out down the road that she had been engaged or married and never told him. His response: “I don’t care about her past. The only thing that matters to me is what happens from the day I met her.”
Awww! So sweet! So incredibly, insanely stupid and naive, but sweet.
Here are my two cents. Our pasts make us who we are today. My engagement and subsequent breakup made me analyze things in my life and change them. If it hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be who I am today. From our experiences, we learn and adapt to make us who we are at this point in time. It’s stupid to keep that from people you love. And I definitely would want to know if my boyfriend had been engaged or married. In fact, I’d probably kick his fucking ass if he withheld something like that from me.
The same goes with friendships. The friends that I’ve lost over the years have had an impact on my life, too. Whether they serve as reminders of how (not) to treat people or how to stay in touch when someone moves away, I’m not just going to sweep the memories of them under the rug.
But am I going to pick up the phone and call these friends to catch up? Oh hell no.